بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
I’d like to share something private with you, one of my diary entries from many years ago, shortly before I reverted to Islam from a life in the Ahmadiyya.
Wednesday, October 20, 2004
If we’re agreed that there is no new Shariah – no addition or subtraction to or from it – then why is it obligatory to pay Chanda? If I don’t, I’m not allowed to vote, or bear office.
Why is it that everyone bar the first Khalifa was in the Promised Messiah’s family? Is no one else good enough? I don’t believe in democracy. It’s a bullshit notion. Democracy throws up leaders like George Bush. A type of Democracy allowed Adolf Hitler to emerge. So I’m not saying the Huzoor should be voted. But if it is Divine Intervention that elects a Khalifa, why is Allah favouring only the one family?
Why is there huge emphasis on Chanda, and none on Zakat, which is a pillar of Islam. And why do we talk about Jalsa Salaana more than Hajj?
Why has the present Huzoor forbidden us from engaging in online discussion with non-Ahmadis? I won’t conjecture on this point – after all – I don’t engage with those morons who have cast judgement on me. Better just to leave them alone, there is after all, a seal over their hearts. But I wonder if there isn’t truth out there that has been hidden from us?
We are mostly a very nice jamaat – but are we really just a family-run-tax-paying-messiah-cult masquerading as Muslims? I’m not judging, but I’m asking some hard questions and I am studying hour after hour after hour after hour.
May Allah guide me.
And alhamdulillah, He did guide me. Most of my diary entries from this period end with “May Allah guide me”. Remember, back then I was a very ordinary Ahmadi, with very little religious knowledge, but I was a cultee, even if I was wondering if I was in a cult! You can see how at this stage, I was still referring to Muslims as “morons” with a “seal over their hearts”. And yet, my belief was being fractured. Despite criticising Muslims, I was wondering if truth had indeed been hidden from us. And how can we have been mostly a nice jamaat if we were so judgmental about other Muslims? Back then I didn’t even know what a jamaat was. As I look back at this, I realise that although I was hugely ignorant (and am still a long way from where I want to be), I was at least being guided.
If you’re reading this and at a similar stage. Make the leap. Come to Islam. It’s worth it. You’ll never look back.